Misfits, martyrs, mensches & moreA field guide to identifying and managing workplace personalitiesBY PATRICIA KITCHENSTAFF WRITER April 3, 2005 Meet television's newest nightmare boss - Michael Scott. And how shall we describe him? Sexist, racist, vulgar, goofy? All that and more. Think Dilbert meets Homer Simpson. In his role as regional manager of a paper-supply company's Scranton location on NBC's new workplace comedy show, "The Office," he fancies himself a cool friend and funnyman, full of himself, his Three Stooges noises and Hitler impersonations. (We won't even get into the practical joke involving Jell-O!) When his own boss tells him of an impending downsizing, his response is, "Me no want to hear that." And his comments at a diversity-training program mandated because of his own insensitive remarks: "Is there a term besides Mexican that you prefer - something less offensive?" It's too soon to say if viewers of the show that debuted two weeks ago will be as enraptured as BBC fans were over the British version, which garnered a Golden Globe award and 5 million viewers. But fans of this Americanized version airing Tuesday nights already are sending in candid photos of their own desks and cubicles - wrapped in aluminum foil and papered with Post-it notes - for display on the show's Web site, www.nbc. com/The_Office. Scott is just one of a multitude of television character types who are exaggerated, limited-dimension versions of the ones we meet in real life. And though we don't learn any effective strategies on TV for dealing with the real ones - otherwise, bye-bye to the premise - we can derive benefits from watching. First is that "oh-my-God-I'm-not-alone" recognition, says Robert J. Thompson, director of the Center for the Study of Popular Television at Syracuse University. We also get what he calls a "shorthand" to use when discussing our own employers and cubicle neighbors. Who knows how many real-life idiot bosses will be receiving "World's Best Boss" mugs from a snickering staff, just like the one Scott proudly admits buying for himself at Spencer Gifts. Still, there's a value to developing some strategic thinking. And to help with that, organizational behaviorist John Putzier, author of "Weirdos in the Workplace - The New Normal," provides a sense of what the real-life version of characters from current and recent shows actually bring to the party, plus some ways to handle them. Idiot boss Michael Scott, regional manager, "The Office" Says organizational behaviorist John Putzier, he's "an irresponsible, immature, partying dude," someone "whose mouth is in motion before his brain is in gear." PRO: By being incompetent, in real-life situations such bosses often allow you to forge ahead and make your own decisions, as long as you're crafty enough to make them think they were the inspiration and modest enough not to mind when they grab the glory. CON: They create hostile work environments, which absorb a lot of energy. STRATEGY: Focus on how to "work around and through him," says Putzier. Distract him, get him involved in minutiae, absorb him in things that don't matter so that you and others can get some real work done. Also consider a whistleblower letter to the corporate office pointing out the firm's legal liability. Shark Ling Woo, lawyer - "Ally McBeal" (Lucy Liu) What can you say about a character whose arrival prompts the theme song of the Wicked Witch of the West? Ling Woo is one of those quirky, direct, in-your-face, intimidating types who doesn't care what you think. PRO: Unlike the case of the workplace saboteur, you know right where you stand with the shark, though you may not like it much. CON: Unless you can steer clear of her, you pretty much have to suck it up. You'll never be able to assert yourself or win an argument without prompting a war. STRATEGY: Try to minimize contact, but position yourself as an ally. Prove you are strong-willed and competent but not in an overshadowing way. Outspoken people like other outspoken people, says Putzier, as long as they're not threats. Voice of reason Silvio Dante, consigliere - "The Sopranos" (Steven Van Zandt) Yes, this may seem like a stretch, but in his workplace, he's the one who sets passions aside and nudges his boss Tony toward the most level-headed response, though he certainly is not to be underestimated. Sal "Big Pussy" Bonpensiero could attest to that - if he were still alive. PRO: Such advisers can help stabilize bosses who are otherwise inclined to shoot from the hip, though not literally, like Tony. And everyone benefits from a balanced, well-analyzed approach. CON: Oooh, what if he or she doesn't like you? Such advisers often act as gatekeepers and have the boss' ear, so they can make or break you. STRATEGY: "Be a Silvio to Silvio," says Putzier. Show you're cool-headed and loyal to the boss. "We all like people like us." Catty charmer Catherine Piper, secretary - "Boston Legal" (Betty White) As she's passing around a plate of yummy homemade cookies at a meeting, you're lulled into seeing her as a kindly granny type, until she comments in the sweetest of voices that, dear, you certainly got a lousy dye-job. PRO: Well, those great cookies do work in her favor. Plus, such types are often willing to take on the planning of birthday parties, farewells and other events that present them with abundant entrees for their honey-laced zingers. CON: It's easy to get steamed and lose focus. STRATEGY: Ask yourself if the person is really destructive or if he/she is just annoying, says Putzier. And if the answer is just annoying, then, what's the harm? Remember what Mom said about sticks and stones. You can smile and say thank you for the input, knowing that your revenge is in denying the person the pleasure of a reaction. Work enemy The janitor - "Scrubs" (Neil Flynn) You would be a little neurotic, too, if, like Dr. J.D. Dorian, a hospital resident on the show, you had someone like the nameless janitor bullying, blackmailing and sabotaging you and your colleagues. PRO: If you're one of those folks who thrive on the challenge of meeting a foe, such an enemy can be useful. And if your office or job is painfully dull, such a rivalry can go a long way toward spicing things up for both you and your colleagues. CON: Enemies can be dangerous. They can make you look bad and rally others to their cause. Allegiances can flip in an instant. Plus, it's hard to focus on your job if you're constantly looking over your shoulder. STRATEGY: Because such saboteurs are often "spineless bullies," Putzier advises you try what most people avoid - confronting the person. They keep dishing it out because you keep taking it, he says, but when you show backbone, they often back down. Tell them you know what they're up to and you're sick of it. You want to find a way to get along. Office buddy Ramona Platt, assistant - "Less Than Perfect" (Sherri Shepherd) Yes, it's fun to have a workplace friend, especially if you're in an office of preening snobs - a person who gives you advice (OK, sometimes it backfires) and someone to gossip with (so maybe she does leak some of your secrets). PRO: You certainly do get important office scuttlebutt from a gossipy friend, much of which may be true. And if you have a message you want spread, who could be better to run it up the flagpole? CON: These news hounds can, without intent or malice, "throw you under the bus if your secret is juicy enough," says Putzier. They're dangerous, he says, because "they don't know they're being dangerous." STRATEGY: Although we need all the good-hearted people we can get at work, do be guarded in what you share. Keep filters on for the really sensitive stuff. Infamous characters With a quick flip through the TV dial, relive office stereotypes from vintage shows: POMPOUS SCREW-UP Ted Baxter (Ted Knight), TV newscaster, "The Mary Tyler Moore Show" - Says while accepting an award, "As I stand here tonight, I cannot help but reflect on the fact that the world is anxious for peace, doctors are seeking out cures for diseases - and that I could care less because I've got this!" OFFICE BABE Jennifer Marlowe (Loni Anderson), receptionist, "WKRP in Cincinnati"- Speaking about a fellow employee to the new station manager: "At least he's not always pawing and mauling you, constantly on the make, dying for some steamy one-night stand of unbridled passion in some out-of-the-way hotel room. ... You're not like that, are you?" CONCEITED MOONLIGHTER Ron Harris (Ron Glass), author and NYPD detective, "Barney Miller" - His boss squelches a meeting with a prospective publisher by saying, "For two years I've put up with cocktail parties, autograph signing, late lunches, and it's not going to happen again. Do you understand?" And Harris asks, "Does this mean I can't go?" GEEKY GO-TO GUY Radar O'Reilly (Gary Burghoff) company clerk, "M*A*S*H" - Responding to the colonel, who asks if he's prepared a certain report, "It's on your desk already signed by you." DIM BULB Woody Boyd (Woody Harrelson), bartender, " Cheers" - His boss says, "I'm a little sick and tired of you and your wholesome farm-boy bit. You're not so dumb." Woody's response: "I resent that." WORKPLACE DIVA Murphy Brown (Candice Bergen), TV reporter, "The Murphy Brown Show" - As lunch is delivered, says, "I'm not a picky person. Oh, for God's sake, they've cut my sandwich diagonally again." - PATRICIA KITCHEN Copyright 2005 Newsday Inc.
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